10 Ways to Get Ready for Your New Semester of Law School

 

  1.  Detox. Drink lots of water to dilute the alcohol in your system. Lots of water. Gallons.
  2.  Sleep. Sleep a lot. You won’t be sleeping much so store up your zzzzs.
  3.  Carbo load. Carbohydrates give you energy. Eat lots of pasta, Cheez Its, Ramen, Ritz Bits and Oreos. Don’t stop. You can’t stop anyway.
  4.  Eat protein. Do this so you can tell your mother you ate protein.
  5.  Practice reading. Face it. You haven’t read in months. Start with Black’s Law Dictionary and work you way up to the U.S. Tax Code
  6.  Get laid. This stops after law school begins along with sleep.
  7.  Visit old relatives. By the time you come up for air, they may not.
  8.  Strap on a watch. Once you start classes, you’ll be checking it every 2 minutes.
  9.  Exercise. This too stops with sex and sleep so do it now, but don’t overdo it because it’s good for you.
  10.   Buy No-Doz. Self-explanatory.                                                                                                                                                                                                                    girl
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Joan Weisblatt

Joan left the practice of law after thirty years when the comedian inside her could no longer be contained. While in practice, she defended companies in asbestos litigation and hopes that she did not breathe in the trial exhibits. She performs in clubs and at fundraisers throughout New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Before joining Comedians at Law, Joan was named Comedians at Law Idol following a contest in which she successfully begged and pleaded with friends and family members to vote for her. Joan has been featured in the following New Jersey publications: The Star Ledger, The Princeton Packet and The Montgomery Sun.

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